Krueger, Richard Simmons team up for exercise mask. For real.

Introducing...Rejuvenique the electrical exercise face mask...

It's one of Time's 50 Worst Inventions...

Posted via web from wild pansophia

Things I don't trust #9: minivans sans hubs

Some things just scream "I am shady, don't trust me."

One of those things are minivans with no hubcaps.

You're trolling the parking lot for a spot to park your car. Then you spot this:

Are you really going to throw on your blinker, go for the empty space and assume this person will either:

1) see you and make a good decision to avoid a collision, or

2) decide not to ram you and take the spot anyway.

They might be a fine, sane, logical person. But...then again, there's a reason their van has no hubcaps. And I don't want to find out that reason the hard way.

So, when I see a minivan with no caps, I give them plenty of room to do whatever they want because minivans sans hubcaps are one of the things I don't trust.

Wildman talks with comedian Michael Jr., for crosswalk.com

He's been on Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel, and Comedy Central. And my chance to interview Michael Jr. nearly ended as soon as it began.


"Hey, Michael Jr.! Thanks for taking a few minutes to talk to me."
"No problem, man."
"So, I figured we'd just chat about you and your new DVD."
"Yeah. Well. The DVD's coming out on the 4th. And I like doing comedy. So...bye."
"Umm...."
"Just kiddin', bro. You just left that wide open for me right there."


The joke was clearly on me. But I was interviewing a stand-up comic, so what was I to expect? Luckily, he decided to keep the conversation going and the result is my latest article for crosswalk.com.


He's a great guy, and he's a Christian comedian who's actually funny. Shocker, I know....


When you read the interview, be sure to give it 5 stars! =)
    

ConFession Friday: I watched a dog eat a kid's kite and laughed

I laughed so hard I fell on the ground, lay back on the grass, and roared.

It's the end of the week and you've probably got something you need to get off your chest. Here's mine:


So we were at the park in Austin this weekend hanging out Sarah's brother and his friend. Tossing around a frisbee and enjoying the nice weather. A playful, athletic yellow-lab mix runs over to us and starts barking at the frisbee. The dog rips the disc out of Julie's hand and makes a dash across the grass. No owner in sight.

It was a friendly dog. Just a little over-zealous.


Josh finally manages to get the lab to release the plastic frisbee, which is now nicely decorated with several puncture holes from the dog's teeth. Our game of catch is now over.


The dog is not finished playing. He comes back over to us (still no owner in sight). We finally shoo him away and he trots off, looking for more entertainment. He starts rolling in a puddle of mud. That's when he spots the boy.


On four muddy paws, the lab bounds over to the kid and his family who are watching the father try to get the boy's kite in the air. The kite is twirling and spinning, struggling to stay aloft in the light breeze. It's just out of reach of the lab, who is launching himself upward with all four feet coming off the ground as he snaps at the tail of the fluttering kite.


The wind fails. The kite falls. The yellow lab mauls the boy's kite using his forepaws to pin it to the ground as he rips shred after shred of red fabric from the frame.


And I laughed. I laughed so hard I fell on the ground, lay back on the grass, and roared. I sat up and watched the dog drag the remains of the kite back to the mud puddle. The boy's face looked like he was watching the murder of his pet rabbit.


And I laughed. We were too far away for the family to hear us. But...


We all laughed at the yellow lab who was having fun in the park at our expense.


OK. There's my Friday ConFession. I feel so much better. Anything you'd like to 'Fess? You'll feel better if you do....


  

Wildman Nails Deployment Prediction, Obama Furious

As a sign of his obvious anger and disgust, Obama has ignored my multiple facebook friend requests. Apparently my message, "Yes, we can be friends" has been met with an emphatic "No, we can't."

According to a CBS News report, President Obama has decided on a "new strategy" in Afghanistan, planning to "send a lot more troops...and keep them there long term." Coincidentally, his strategy sounds sounds similar to Gen. Stanley McChrystal's request for 40,000 new combat troops in Afghanistan. 


The US will deploy a total of 100,000 troops to sunny Central Asia by the end of next year.


No doubt, the President is anticipating backlash from voters and political entities across the spectrum. Democrats will accuse him of following in the footsteps of George Bush II. Republicans will accuse him of following in the footsteps of George Bush II. George Bush II will accuse Obama of making fun of his idea, then stealing his idea and not giving him any credit for it. 


King Solomon will likely use the opportunity to promote his new book, "Ecclesiastes," citing his work on "there's nothing new under the sun" and "everything is meaningless, a chasing after the wind" as especially relevant to the discussion.


Obama could see all that coming. But there's one startling source of critique that has blindsided him like a freight train at full-speed loaded with the lead of truth -- my facebook page.

Exactly two weeks ago, I posted this prediction about the outcome of his "long and careful deliberation" about the deployment of more troops to Afghanistan (Props to Kelly for the election timing nuance.):

Obama was so shocked and angered that I, a seasoned political analyst, could see where his "new strategy" was headed two weeks before it was announced that he refused to comment on my status update.

As a sign of his obvious anger and disgust, Obama has ignored my multiple facebook friend requests. Apparently my message, "Yes, we can be friends" has been met with an emphatic "No, we can't." 


It seems that the White House has been ordered to not follow my twitter feed.

Don't worry, America. This freight train of truth will keep rolling. Being shunned by our Commander in Chief is a price I'm willing to pay for my insightful  140 character political commentaries.