What's your Life Clock say? Check the time on the Life Clock Calculator

Do you know what time it is? I'm not talking about checking your watch for how many hours and minutes that have passed in this current day. I'm talking about what time it is in your life...what's the reading on your Life Clock?

On your Life Clock, your 80-year lifespan is represented as a single, 24-hour day. Each day you live moves the hands of your Life Clock forward, starting at 12:00AM when you are born and ending when you finish your 80th year and the clock strikes midnight. Where the hands of the clock are right now is your Life Time.

There's something about looking at a clock that gives you a great visual reference for where you are in your day. 7am? Time to leave for work. 12:55pm? Lunch is over, time to get back to work. 9:13pm? Last chance to call your Mom to wish her happy birthday. Thanks to the clock, you know where you are in relation to the activities of the day and you can budget your time accordingly.

So, what if you could do something similar for your entire lifespan? What if we could look at a clock and see how much of our life we've spent and how much remains?

Follow steps below to find out what time your Life Clock reads right now. You'll need about 3 minutes and a calculator.

1. Find out how many days you've lived by filling out this Days Calculator. The "start date" is your birthday. The "end date" is today.
2. Multiply the days you've lived by 3. This is the number of seconds you've lived on your Life Clock.
3. Divide the answer from step 2 by 60. This is the number of Life Clock hours.
4. Round the answer from step 3 to the nearest whole number. Use this Quotient / Remainder calculator divide your whole number by 60. The quotient = the hour on your Life Clock. The remainder = the minutes on your Life Clock. For example: If your quotient = 8 and remainder = 24, then your Life Clock reading is 8:24AM. This is your Life Time.
5. REMEMBER: The Life Clock calculator gives your Life Time in a 24-hour (military) format. If you are over 40 years of age, you can subtract 12 from the quotient to give your hours in a 12-hour format. If you to this, don't forget that your Life Clock reading with be PM not AM.

We're found out our Life Time...so now what?

The years of our lives pass quickly, like a sigh. The days of our lives add up to seventy years, or eighty, if one is especially strong... Yes, they pass quickly and we fly away...So teach us to consider our mortality, so that we might live wisely. (Psalms 90:9b-10,12)

    

A married bachelor's 10-step, fool-proof plan

There comes a time in every married man's life when he must relive his past. I'm not talking about a mid-life crisis or a counseling session on a shrink's couch where you talk about your childhood. I'm talking about resurrecting those bittersweet days as a bachelor.


Oh, that time in the past when hearing someone describe your apartment as "a real bachelor pad" was a badge of honor. "That's right, baby. This is an art-free, candle-free, kitchen towel-free, toilet paper-free zone." You want to see some Monet or some little bubbling pots of potpourri, then go see a chick. If you want to admire my stereo and play some xbox, then push that pile of unfolded laundry to the side and have a seat. Those were the days, right?


Times have changed. Now my dinners include vegetables, my coffee table is stacked with candles, my car hasn't broken down in like, six months, and my socks smell like fabric softener. I'm clothed, seated, and in my right mind.


In other words, now I'm married.


But, for the last few weeks, strange things have been happening. Suddenly, I can't find the key to the mailbox, or my phone, or the salt shaker. Suddenly, pizza boxes are sprouting up around the kitchen again, like weeds in an unattended garden. Sarah, the civilizing force in my life, has been traveling. So, I'm The Bachelor once again.


I've been reading a lot of books about being married and keeping your woman happy. I'm not going to lie - I'm a walking encyclopedia on the inner workings of the female mind. So, while Sarah's away, I've decided to put all knowledge to work.


They say that when a woman's gone, she wants to know she was missed. She wants to feel appreciated and feel like you are a part of your life you can't do without. So, I've come up with a 10-step, fool-proof plan for letting Sarah know just how much she means to me:

• 1.  Order pizza like, every day. You can eat that thing for lunch and dinner. Brilliant.
• 2.  Play xbox. 
• 3.  Don't shave. For two weeks.
• 4.  Put off all essential home and work tasks. Once panic and confusion set in, procrastinate with more xbox.
• 5.  Text her every day to ask her, "When's trash day? XOXO"
• 6.  Roll up used kitchen towels and stuff them into random drawers.
• 7.  Bury the bills under some fast food wrappers on the table. The power company won't mind a little hot sauce.
• 8.  Sell the couch and buy a massive comfy chair. That's what happens when you only need seating for one.
• 9.  Run out of clean bowls and use the potpourri dish for morning cereal. Leave said dish in the sink with a few cheerios attached, for effect. 
• 10.  Pick her up from the airport wearing the exact the same outfit I dropped her off in last week. Explain the fact that my shirt smells like my apartment used to smell when we were dating by telling her that's just the pheromones in my new cologne. When that doesn't work, tell her I'm just kidding - I'm really in a focus group that's testing out dryer sheets that smell like deer urine. Those bucks'll never see me coming now.

The way I see it, the moment Sarah comes back, she'll immediately see how important she is to me and how I could never live without her. Jackpot.

If this goes well, I'll probably write a marriage book. I've got a lot of other fool-proof plans the men of America need to know about. 


You can thank me in advance.

GoWild: How to Turn Yourself into a Font for Free

So, I'm a procrastinator. I'd like to say I'm a recovering procrastinator, but I'm not there yet. The down side to putting all my tasks off until the last minute are the periodic moments of panic scattered throughout a typical week.

No middle ground for me! It's either a sense of calm and well-being as I ignore the work piling up. Or, it's the terror that strikes hours before the deadline. In the past, I tried to reform myself. Now, I just blame the problem on genetics and my childhood. It's easier that way.

The upside to my procrastinating ways is all the cool stuff I find on the internet while I'm distracting myself from my to-do list.

Take this website for example: www.fontcapture.com. It's a fun and easy tool to convert your own handwriting into a true type font that you can use on your computer like any other font -- even in design programs like InDesign, Photoshop, and Illustrator. Best part? It's free.

The process involves four easy steps:

1. Go to the website and download the template.
2. Print the template and fill it like (like I did above) with your handwriting sample.
3. Scan the completed template and upload it to the site.
4. Name your new font and download it.

Once you have it on your computer's harddrive, you can install it like any font. Possible uses? Create a new font for a design layout. Print nearly hand-written looking letters to friends and family. Fill out forms. "Sign" documents. Fool the teacher into thinking your mother wrote a doctor's note.

Or, if you're like me, you can finally realize just how bad your handwriting really is. You can download my font file to see for yourself. Ha! Have fun...