5 Big Pigs

By now, you're either sick with or sick of the swine flu.  As media outlets pigs out on the fear frenzy inspired by the whopping 700 cases of the influenza strain worldwide, who gets left with their tails between their legs? That's right, pigs. So, in the interest of fairness, I've rooted around for this list of five famous pigs.

1. Piggly Wiggly

This pig owns his own grocery store chain. That's pretty sweet. When you see this grinning character hamming it up on his own company sign, you know some southern comfort food is near. However, that smile takes a more sinister turn when you realize he's wearing a butcher's hat. Creepy. It kind of gives a new meaning to "bringing home the bacon." No thanks, Piggly. I said I wanted to meet your friends...not eat your friends.

2. P-I-G

When you're young and you have all summer to kill with the neighbor kids, you spend hours in the driveway showing off your tricky basketball moves with game after game of H-O-R-S-E. Fast forward 20 years. When you've just had thanksgiving dinner and the 30 pounds you put on in college have left you with a 6 inch vertical jump...it's time to play P-I-G. Forty percent shorter game...100% of the glory.

3. Pigs in a Blanket

Petting zoos, farms, and cartoons are all great places to see little piggy, but be honest -- your favorite place to find a fine swine is snuggling up in a blanket of golden-brown goodness. 

4. Norman, the world's biggest pig (2001-2008)

To prove that the ancestors of the modern hog could have held its own in the days of the dinorsaurs, farmers bread Norman. You might get away with pushing Piglet around, but this is 1,000 lbs of pork chops that will bust your chops. Call someone a big pig they take it as an insult. Norman just snorts.

5. Wilbur

Before reading Charlotte's Web, the only person I knew named Wilbur was my grandfather. After reading the E.B. White classic, I still only knew one person named Wilbur. But, I also knew that animals were probably talking about me behind my back, spider webs could contain secret messages, and that somewhere behind the layers of mud, harry skin, and blubber pigs have hearts. And are easily distracted by trash under the grandstands.